AUNT SWEETIE AND UNCLE SALTY

Aunt Sweetie and Uncle Salty have been married for quite some time, years in fact, but then who’s counting when life is so grand? You may remember that Aunt Sweetie is of the Werther’s Original clan; however no one refers to them as a clan but rather a noted family, originally from this notorious town of Hershey. The family emigrated from Cadbury, settling on 5th Avenue in Hershey. One day, Aunt Sweetie went for a walk in the park on Candy Corn Lane. As she strolled along by herself she met a Big Hunk of a guy who looked like he was from another Galaxy. This huge Bazooka went by the name of Salty, a renegade cowboy in town from the Wild West.

As they strolled along, Sweetie thought “who is this Dip Stick who calls himself a Jolly Rancher? He’s a Jawbreaker indeed, and he sure looks like he can tell a girl like me a Whopper of a tale.” When asked where he hailed from, Salty replied that his family emigrated from Yorks many years ago, that they had left the big city for the Wild West, and he was here to settle some business. Jawbreaker business. So what is your given name besides “Salty” she inquired? Salty replied that years ago when he was born his parents christened him Henry. “Oh Henry, that’s a lovely name” Sweetie replied. “U No” Salty said, “I have to be getting’ along. Can I see you sometime soon before I leave your great city?” “Of course,” Sweetie replied and gave him her address. Salty followed up on meeting Sweetie and over a week the two got to know each other very well, exchanging Hershey Kisses and going for long walks in the park unescorted. Things got pretty heated as they strolled around Cotton Candy hill where Salty got secret Peeps at this lovely woman who was setting off Pop Rocks in his, by now, numb brain allowing that he just might get a Bit-O-Honey. In a Crunch, not knowing what he would do without the company of Sweetie, Salty popped the question and they were wed in a short time. Although Sweetie was much younger, she was grateful for her Sugar Daddy, Salty, and felt that she had hit Pay Day. The couple headed back out West where they bought property for 100 Grand, settled, milked cows, filled and sold Milk Bottles, and had many children, Baby Ruth, Kit Kat, Milky Duds, Licoricia, Venus, little Tootsie Pop, Lollipopsie, the twins, Skittles and Snickers, and Nutella. Over the years things could get salty and full of Sour Worms Twix the couple, but in the following make up moments the thought of the full, voluptuous, Waxy Lips, of Sweetie and the thought of the Big Hunk’s arms of Salty led to Starburst moments that followed, keeping the couple together for a sky of Milky Way filaments for the duration.