Civility: starting at the beginning

We seem awash in political and moral polarization in the world today.

Elected officials, sports figures and coaches, actors and other high-profile public figures are caught lying, cheating, becoming entangled in webs of betrayal, malfeasance and sexual scandals of every sort, or simply being rude in a continuous cycle.

The new norm is pundits talking over one another, even yelling to get their points across. Cyber bullying has become commonplace. World leaders use words like “stupid,” and “loser” to describe opponents.

Listening and giving someone with a different viewpoint a chance to speak and be heard has gone by the wayside and replaced by cold intolerance.

What the world is lacking is more common sense and an idea that seems to have has gone by the wayside: civility.

From the Latin civilitas, the original meaning related to being a good citizen, but later evolved to mean respect, or as the New Oxford American Dictionary defines it, “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.”

Various studies and polls have found incivility to be on the increase, particularly since the Great Recession. An ongoing Weber Shandwick poll found that 93 percent of American’s believe incivility to be a problem, while 68 percent classified incivility as a “major problem.”

Various programs in government, the legal profession and other sectors of public life have instituted efforts to offset the decline in civility. Public colleges and universities have developed programs and even offer undergraduate certificates in civil communication.

Interestingly, Ivy League schools — feeders for many of the corporate and politically powerful positions in the U.S. and abroad — apparently do not.

Which begs the question: is the idea of civility lost? If not, how do we bring it back?

The answer is in educating a new generation in civility through our nation’s schools.

Today’s schools are evolving into more than just a place to learn to read, write and perform mathematics. Not only is academic rigor part of the curriculum, but social and emotional learning is on the rise as well, including teaching kids the importance of being civil with and to one another.

Ideally, programs like Sound Discipline, which facilitates educators and parents in how to teach their children life skills that lead empowered, respectful young adults, would be taught at the elementary, middle and high school levels. As children grow and mature, lessons of respect and civility would be reinforced with deeper and more robust curriculums.

The Sound Discipline program appears to be effective. In it’s 2019 Report to the Community, data shows a clear decrease in fighting and physical aggression in participating schools during the four-year period between 2015 and 2019, even as learning in the classroom increased.

While the Sound Discipline program is clearly effective, teaching civility can just as easily happen organically.

Schools are increasingly realizing the benefit of robust mental health programs that address childhood issues and trauma as they happen. School psychologists might help older students understand not only why civility is important, but also the psychology behind negative behaviors.

Leaders in the U.S. and the world have clearly lost their way. While there are many methods of combating the rise of incivility and all that goes with it, schools, as the backbone of our communities, are a good place to start, because clearly, the future of civility is now in the hands of future generations.

Lee Hughes can be reached at [email protected].