This is the tale of the squirrel and Mary Franks' walnuts

I am a gardener. It is the only way I’ve found to be partners with God.

Women and God partner up to produce additional human beings. After a brief DNA donation, men only get involved when the offspring wants to know how to throw a curve ball or borrow the keys to the car.

So I garden. God does the heavy lifting by producing sun and rain. I get to plant the seeds and keep out pests. Weeds are endemic. I get my daily exercise hoeing and pulling the leafy intruders that hide in my rows of beans and lettuce.

Animal pests are a greater challenge. I have been fairly successful in keeping them at bay...