Save me from my stupid self

I went to college in New York. It was a long way from home, but West Point offered to let me play football in exchange for a quality education and a career.

New York was quite a culture shock for a small town farm boy. The drinking age was 18, the voting age was 21 and the only thing that prevented us from smoking was the price of cigarettes. We did most of the stupid things that college kids do, but no one got hurt that I know of, and we didn’t break any laws.

Times have sure changed. College kids are now deemed mature enough to vote at age 18 but too immature to have a beer or cigarette until they are 21. Our state Legislature has assumed the duty of saving citizens from their stupid selves.

One prominent piece of pending legislation is a ban on eyeball tattoos. Not tattoos of eyeballs but tattoos on the eyeball! I didn’t know that was a problem. I certainly haven’t heard about an epidemic of artfully inked eyeballs.

When asked for an opinion, a professor of ophthalmology indicated he has never seen an eyeball tattoo but would certainly recommend against it. I wonder if the same professor would recommend against poking oneself in the eye with a sharp stick? Why doesn’t he say it is just plain stupid? He did say the procedure would be dangerous, but so is liposuction and silicone injections. Should the Legislature also ban those?

Banning eyeball tattoos is politically safer than banning something that someone actually does. It is sort of like banning elephant hunting in the Cascades. No one does it, so no one should complain, and our Legislature can take credit for saving us from being stupid.

Smoking is the stupidest thing I ever did. It was a bad decision, but it was my decision to make. I knew it was bad for me but did it anyway.

Would it have made any difference if the practice were illegal? Probably not. Few of us remember prohibition, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from it.

Consumption of alcohol destroys brain cells and can make rational people stupid. A legal ban on the consumption of alcohol, however, didn’t stop the consumption. The law was widely disregarded and finally repealed.

More recently, the federal ban on recreational use of marijuana didn’t stop its use. Recreational use of marijuana has been proven to cause brain and lung damage, but young people still use it. Washington state’s decision to legalize recreational marijuana is heralded as an example of reason. Should we not apply the same logic to other substances?

I remember the military draft. The law required all males to register for selective service on their 18th birthday. Many were involuntarily called into combat. Some never came home.

College kids could protest but could not vote. The movement to reduce the voting age to the draft age came to fruition in 1973 when President Nixon signed the bill allowing 18 year olds to vote in all federal elections.

Citizens less than 21 years old, however, remain only partially franchised. They can be members of the armed forces, but they can’t buy a beer. They are mature enough to vote, but too immature to decide whether or not to smoke. They can serve in the legislature, but can’t participate in the legal use of recreational marijuana. They should either be citizens or not. If the legislature can declare 19 year olds too young to make mature decisions, can they declare those my age too senile to know what is right and wrong?

I support programs that try to convince citizens to abstain from smoking, drinking or tattooing their eyeballs. The choice, however lies with the individual, whether they are 18 or 80. It is not the job of the Legislature to protect us from our own stupidity.

Frank Watson is a retired Air Force Colonel and long time resident of Eastern Washington. He has been a free-lance columnist for over 19 years.