While hanging out in the dugout during a July 29 game against the Los Angeles Dodgers, Atlanta Braves left fielder Ronald Acuna Jr. laid his head on second baseman Ozzie Albies’ chest. And in the cuddle heard round the world, Albies didn’t move away, instead putting his arm around Acuna and rubbing the back of his head.
What resulted was an explosion on social media, as people criticized the interaction, calling it “uncomfortable” and questioning the men’s sexuality. Even the game announcers had a not-so-graceful response, joking awkwardly about the “head massage” and asking if Acuna was taking a nap.
Albies and Acuna probably weren’t trying to make a statement, but the public’s reaction to their embrace surely did.
Just why the dugout hug happened can’t be immediately explained. Some fans jumped to say that it was sympathy due to Acuna’s mother’s recent passing, but a spokesperson for the Braves stated that Acuna’s mother is actually alive and well.
What’s really telling – and damaging – about this situation is that we feel like we have to search so hard for a reason for the touching moment. A justification. A rationalization. Anything, other than a dude wanting to hug his best friend.
And this isn’t an isolated incident. A high school pitcher recently gave a friend on the opposing team a hug after striking him out to reach a state tournament, and it made national headlines. It seems ludicrous, yet when you think about it, when was the last time the men you know fully embraced without an explanation? When was the last time your male friends indulged in a good snuggle?
So many men in our culture are starved of platonic touch. The benefits of platonic touch have been extensively and scientifically researched —so why does our culture shy so violently away from it? Touch has been found to reduce heart rate, blood pressure and stress, and leads to better health in infants regardless of gender.
Dr. Tiffany Field, a frontrunner in physical touch research, was recently quoted in a New York Times article saying that “the cultures that exhibited minimal physical affection toward their young children had significantly higher rates of adult violence.”
And that makes sense. When upset or stressed, women feel free to seek out affection and confide in friends, while many men take that as a sign to cowboy up, be a man, and repress those feelings.
That can have catastrophic repercussions on their mental health, a topic that has been thrust into the spotlight in recent months following a stream of high-profile celebrity suicides.
The physical and emotional distance inflicted on men in our society may discourage them from seeking help for mental health issues, a problem many athletes have historically struggled with. Sports, especially at the professional level, are filled with spikes of adrenaline and valleys of disappointment, and keeping men from physically and verbally expressing themselves is stunting them in very real ways.
Former NFL wide receiver Steve Smith Sr. recently chronicled his journey with depression for NFL.com, telling others to “stop trying to deal with these serious matters alone.”
Smith wrote that he regularly felt trapped and alone during his career as a professional football player, and he wished he’d felt able to connect with someone.
“Within the league, there’s no doubt I would’ve had three dozen people reach out if I had been brave enough to bare my soul,” he wrote. “But I was extremely broken and afraid of negative judgment.”
You can’t blame Smith for being afraid to speak up. Statistically, women are far more likely than men to pursue professional help for anxiety and depression, and part of that is due to the lack of stigma and shame surrounding physical affection for women.
It’s time to extend the same understanding and courtesy to men. We have to start eliminating the stigma of male touch, and it starts with not mocking athletes who are brave enough to reach out.
Because honestly? Sometimes you just need a hug.
Shannen Talbot can be reached at [email protected].
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