Best cooks up savory roast of Eastern's football seniors

See a photo gallery from the event here.

If there’s such a thing, call last Saturday’s senior sendoff for the Eastern Washington University football team a fast roast.

And if roasting in a microwave is possible so as to speed up the process, new Eagles’ head coach Aaron Best came up with a winning recipe of humor and candor as the Eastern football team was feted as a whole in an afternoon event at Showalter Auditorium.

As a senior class where each needs a safe deposit box just for their collection of Big Sky Conference championship rings, it will be hard for future groups to match the four titles on their resumes.

Best recounted the recent history of how each senior class is singled out.

“So there’s always been a tradition, I think it started a few years back with coach (Chris) Hansen, the storyteller of seniors,” Best said. “Then coach Hansen went his separate way and coach (Beau) Baldwin took the reins.”

Best said he’d been in their shoes before — one year there were 26 seniors — and it was “I should have brought a blankie, some slippers.”

Channeling his inner Baldwin, who often used the phrase “In a weird way,” shorter is better, Best said. In just short of 10 minutes he provided memorable snapshots of four or five years that shot by in a seeming instant.

“I’m not going to go into individual stories because I’ve got a lot of dirt,” Best said. “But what I do want you to know — and I’ve echoed it from the beginning — is these guys are special.”

All but two seniors made the event with Cooper Kupp the most notable of those absent. But he was working hard for the upcoming NFL Draft Day in April.

Coop’s story has been told, and retold, and told again as it seemed every time there was a new record to add to what he had already accomplished.

Kendrick Bourne played his career largely in Kupp’s shadow. But one would never know. KB is smiling — whether he dropped a ball or whether he caught a touchdown — he’s always smiling, Best said of the Portland, Ore. native.

Best related the story of Samson Ebukam serving Nigerian food to former coach Zak Hill. But the better tale was the recruit having to help get Hill’s rental car out of impound after it was towed for being illegally parked.

From the funny to moving was what Best said of Zach Bruce, a former walk-on from Spokane’s University High who beat all the odds, Best said.

“He shouldn’t be where he’s at, he shouldn’t have been an all-league player,” Best said. Bruce was likely told many times along the way he was too small, too slow and not good enough.

“He’s an overachiever and that’s exactly what we try to replicate here, day in and day out,” Best added.

Tumwater’s Zach Wimberly started on the defensive line at Eastern, but became a tight end, and the butt of Best’s tattoo jokes Saturday. “And then you fall in love with the guy because he really, truly cares and is just a great human,” Best confided.

Receiver Shaq Hill, “Spent seven or eight falls in a jersey for us so he’s working on his doctorate, believe it or not,” Best joked, poking fun at the Stockton, Calif. recruit who earned a fifth year NCAA exemption due to injuries.

“Shaq, every month he had a different haircut, a different style,” Best side of Hill who still sported the half blonde/half black doo that fans saw during the football season.

Jordan West first flashed onto the scene at quarterback in 2014 when he filled in for an injured Vernon Adams Jr. And his star continued to rise the following season when he was among national passing leaders.

“How many of you thought he would go into Autzen Stadium and do what he did?” throwing for nearly 300 yards and three touchdowns — leading the Eagles to the most points scored on the Pac-12 Ducks in eons in a 61-42 loss to open the 2015 season.

Best closed by telling the group something they already knew: That they were welcome to come back any time.

The caveat, however, Best said, “When you all get jobs I will get your number, I will have you — and make you — give back to this institution.”

Paul Delaney can be reached at [email protected].

See a photo gallery from the event here.