Volunteering to fix the 'whole family unit'

Dealing with domestic violence can be complex and costly, let alone emotional.

Since January 2013, A.R.M.S., Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, has been serving as the Cheney Municipal Court’s domestic violence advocate at no charge, handling cases ranging from assault to verbal abuse — where violence often begins. Saturday, May 30, some Cheney residents are hoping the rest of the community will help A.R.M.S. monetarily battle the violence that rips families apart by attending an auction at Amazing Grace Fellowship.

According to auction coordinator Maria Fell, the goal is to raise $2,000 in proceeds, which will be presented to A.R.M.S as a community donation.

The relationship between the organization and the Cheney court was something new for the then 7-year-old chapter when it began in 2013. Prior to that, A.R.M.S., which started in Hillsboro, Ore. in 1997 and has since expanded to over nine states, worked mainly with area shelters and domestic violence organizations.

“This is more broad work than we’ve put together,” A.R.M.S.’ Spokane associate director Ginger Johnson said in a Feb. 7, 2013 Cheney Free Press story.

At the time, Cheney’s Court Administrator Terri Cooper said they had attempted to establish a domestic violence advocate program for about four years, but it had proven cost prohibitive and attempts at procuring grants had failed. A.R.M.S. fit what the court was looking for since its services come at no charge.

Those services have been challenged. According to the Cheney Police Department’s Uniform Crime Report, 127 domestic violence incidents were reported in 2013, which resulted in 13 misdemeanor domestic violence charges filed in Cheney, with five filed from Eastern Washington University and nine from Medical Lake, resulting in 27 overall.

In 2014, UCR domestic violence reports climbed to 164 in Cheney, resulting in 26 charges locally, with the court handling 36 overall. So far through April, 46 incidents have been reported, resulting in seven Cheney charges, nine total.

When it comes to those court cases, A.R.M.S. provides a multitude of services to the victims including those that help them deal only with the trauma created by domestic violence but also guide them through a court system that can be confusing and intimidating. Cooper said recently that they serve as a liaison between the victim and the prosecutor, and can often speak for the victim in court.

“We in the court speak a language that is not common,” Cooper said. “It’s lingo. Having someone who can explain this is big.”

A.R.M.S. services also extend to the perpetrators of domestic violence, a component as important as those for the victim. Different counselors work with the perpetrators, who Cooper said often have grown up in families where proper role-modeling has not taken place. Men feel pressures and stresses to act certain ways, and don’t know who to deal with the challenges of family life.

Cooper said there have been relationships A.R.M.S. has been able to mend. But even if that is not possible, the counseling work can help the problem from coming back.

“Maybe that relationship doesn’t work out, but they can move on and break the cycle,” Cooper said.

That cycle is important because it can start early, something Johnson said she would like to address in Cheney by developing a program for teens.

When proper relationships are not modeled at home it can create problems that usually manifest as bullying, beginning as early as elementary school, Johnson said. This can become more pronounced when they enter the teenage years when the self-identity struggle kicks in.

Johnson said the program helps fill in behavior gaps for teens, providing skills on how to treat each other and how to recognize boundaries for acceptability.

“It’s all about a healthy relationship and what it looks like,” she said. “All those things come into play in the teenage years.”

A.R.M.S. provides parenting classes, and Johnson said they are also looking at holding some classes or forums in the future for community members to provide information on how to recognize domestic violence and how to respond.

“They really are looking at this whole family unit,” Cooper said.

The auction takes place noon – 1 p.m. at Amazing Grace Fellowship Church, 316 W. Betz Road in Cheney.

John McCallum can be reached at [email protected].