‘We' would just as soon those who dislike soccer keep quiet and let us have our fun
By JOHN McCALLUM
Editor
Glenn Beck hates soccer.
What? You didn't hear? He said so the other day on his radio program, “I don't get the baseball thing, but the soccer thing, I hate it so much — probably because the rest of the world likes it so much, and they riot over it, and they continually try to jam it down our throat… It doesn't matter how you sell it to us. It doesn't matter how many celebrities you get. It doesn't matter how many bars open early. It doesn't matter how many beer commercials they run. We don't want the World Cup. We don't like the World Cup. We don't like soccer. We want nothing to do with it. You can package it any way — you can spend all kinds of money. You can force it on our television sets. We will not enjoy the World Cup.”
Wow! Somehow I missed the story where “we” elected this self-important, neurotic xenophobe to be our spokesperson. I'd like to see Beck appear at a Lady Hawks or Blackhawks soccer awards banquet and tell those players, coaches and parents that “we” don't like soccer and want nothing to do with it.
Better yet, take a trip to all the playing fields and parks around this nation where kids, parents and spectators gather weekly to watch and play soccer and tell them “we” don't like the game.
Sure, soccer hasn't achieved the popularity in this country as American football, baseball, NASCAR and other sports, but it is still pretty popular – and growing – nonetheless. And Beck isn't the only media gadfly to diss soccer.
Keith Olbermann of MSNBC's “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” has professed his dislike, only not in so much inflammatory language. And no less a respected authority than G. Gordon Liddy claimed in his radio program that soccer originated with South American Indians who kicked around the decapitated head of an enemy warrior instead of a ball.
Several stories from these boys noted that an oft-told legend about the sport had its origins in 8th century England when members of a king's army kicked about the detached cranium of a conquered prince of Denmark.
Beck's hatred of soccer stems from his hatred of anything that comes from outside the U.S. borders. Somehow giving credit to people other than Americans for inventing something we like diminishes us.
In that case, don't clue him in to chariot racing. You know, ancient Romans, Greeks, Persians, etc. riding in horse-powered machines making constant left-hand turns around a course where they risked the possibility of being killed in collisions, striving to be the first across the finish line.
You could probably draw a line from NASCAR, Formula 1 or any other form of modern racing directly back to this form of sport but don't tell Beck this. His head might explode and I wouldn't want his staff to have to deal with the mess.
Soccer is really no different than other modern sports. It has its share of prima donnas, on and off field disputes and problems with unruly fans.
It has controversies; such as too much “diving” the art of faking a fall, or as soccer officials call it, “simulation.” If anything, these players are watching too much NBA basketball and learning that art from us. It's called flopping.
People like to get excited about sports for a variety of reasons. When something like the World Cup comes along it can serve as a unifying force for nations, a source of pride and a distraction from turmoil. If Beck, Olbermann, Liddy and their ilk don't like soccer fine, but shut up and let us enjoy it.
One thing I will say is I appreciate the columnist, I can't remember who, who noted that both soccer and socialism both start with the letter arrangement “soc.”
Thank you, citizen. I will now be on the look out for other potential threats from deviant, anti-American words with the letters “soc” like socks, sockets, social, society and sockeye.
Heavens! salmon is un-American!
For my next Crunch Time, hey Beck! What's with the not getting baseball thing?
John McCallum can be reached at [email protected].
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