Ladies and Gentlemen prepare for services at the new Washington State Veterans Cemetery
By RYAN LANCASTER
Staff Reporter
It could be a young soldier cut down in battle, an elderly veteran who died in his sleep or a spouse who kept the home fires burning all those years ago.
But whoever might find their final resting place at the Washington State Veterans Cemetery, the Ladies and Gentlemen will be ready to receive them with honor while supporting the loved ones they leave behind.
In Medical Lake next week the WSVC will finally be unveiled to the public after years in development. More than 6,000 visitors are expected to attend the Memorial Day dedication ceremony, which will feature presentations by Gov. Chris Gregoire and other dignitaries.
Then on June 7, after the limelight has faded away, as the grass is planted and construction crews begin sweeping up after a yearlong, $8.8 million project, interment services will begin.
Spokane resident Beth Ann Daigre, whose late husband was a retired Navy lieutenant commander, has been preparing for that day since her first visit to Arlington National Cemetery. It was there she learned about the Arlington Ladies, a group of volunteer women that for 37 years has ensured no member of any armed services branch is buried alone. “I knew we were going to have our state cemetery here and I just said to myself, ‘Oh, we could do that,'” Daigre said.
For the past two years Daigre has been on an advisory committee of the Military Officers Association of America, national non-profit advocacy group. Her committee, which represents surviving members of military personnel, meets for conferences in Washington D.C. a few times a year.
While at the Capitol in 2008 she visited the Arlington cemetery with a fellow committee member whose husband is buried there. “This woman told me about how moved she was when the Arlington Lady came, gave her a card and said some nice words to her and it just stuck with me,” Daigre said. “You hear the stories from women like this and how much it meant to them, to the family.”
Each branch of the armed forces has its own division of Arlington Ladies, one of whom is present at every burial service the cemetery conducts. A Lady frequently attends up to five burials per day where she waits silently for the moment a folded flag is presented to the deceased soldier's next of kin. She then comes forward to offer the bereaved a word of comfort and two cards, one from the Arlington Ladies and another expressing the gratitude and condolences of the military branch chief of staff and his wife.
When Daigre arrived back home after that first trip to Arlington she proposed the idea to WSVC director Richard Cesler, who enthusiastically endorsed the plan. “There is no other state cemetery that I'm aware of that will have somebody standing there whether the family is there or not to honor that veteran and that spouse,” Cesler said. “Beyond that, what happens to a widow or widower once their spouse is gone? The very next day they have a million and two questions. Part of the commitment of this organization is to get those families over the next hurdle. That's vital.”
Daigre set things in motion, speaking to local groups with military ties in order to gather support and volunteers. Then, in the summer of 2009, she traveled again to Washington D.C. and spent several hours with the chair of the Army Arlington Ladies, who explained behind-the-scenes particulars such as scheduling and volunteer paperwork. A few days later Daigre shadowed an Arlington Lady and her escort during a funeral service for a career Army veteran who had also served in the CIA.
“That was so totally incredible,” she said. “It was a full service, with the band, the horses pulling the caisson. It was just – wow.”
Soon after, with the help of vice-chair Pat Stanicar and a few dozen other volunteers, Daigre formally launched the Ladies and Gentlemen of the Washington State Veterans Cemetery. The organization's novelty allows Daigre freedom to tailor fit the program to the volunteers who run it and the people it serves.
While the Arlington Ladies typically attend funeral services on the arm of a soldier, for instance, Daigre chose to invite some Gentlemen volunteers to accompany the Ladies of the WSVC. Members of the WSVC group also decided they will be present for the services of every veteran's spouse buried at the cemetery. “These gals have taken care of the kids, paid the bills and mowed the lawn while he's gone. They deserve to be honored too,” Daigre said. “We want to thank the person who kept the home fires burning and served on the home front.”
Daigre said she'd like to see 50 individuals signed up and trained in order to lessen the scheduling burden on everybody, but the 25 current volunteers are a dedicated bunch. “One of the Arlington Ladies told me they have a waiting list of ladies who want to start doing this but that once you start you don't want to stop,” Daigre said. “It's just like with our people, they're willing to work two or three times a month. They're big hearted people who want to serve.”
Last Thursday, May 20, Daigre and the other Ladies and Gentlemen gathered at the WSVC for a full dress rehearsal, one of many training exercises the group has undergone over the past few months. Construction workers labored at last minute projects, moving past young honor guard soldiers as they practiced rifle drills. Ladies and Gentlemen members tried to stay out of a bitter West Plains breeze while waiting for the mock funeral service to begin.
Pat Tolley, whose husband is buried at Arlington, said she was there to give back what she received. “I still have the card from the Arlington Ladies,” Tolley said. “My Arlington Lady included her name and phone number and it said if you need something or you have any questions please give us a call.”
Joy and Harrison Fahrner said they are volunteering as a way to honor the long line of veterans in their family. Joy has a brother who went missing in action during the Korean War and in 2003 the couple's son-in-law was killed in Baghdad. “We've just had a lot of family members who have been very dedicated and we very much love our country,” she said.
Every one of the volunteers is a veteran, spouse of a veteran or both. Kathy Cope was a military critical care nurse who's husband served for 30 of the 56 years they were married before he passed away two years ago. “It was so comforting to have the military family supporting me and honoring my husband who did so much in the military,” she said. “That military family takes care of you and it can even be a stronger bond than your real families. This is a wonderful way to honor that.”
Ryan Lancaster can be reached at [email protected].
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